Once again I sit in the office, just waiting for the next step. There are things that need to be done, but I wait for something to come or pass before I can move. Sometimes the office is boring, but altogether I enjoy it like crazy.
March has to be the worse month for me. I wish I could just pass over it and not look back, but seeing how the past sneaks up on you, and you can never just skip a month here and there, I guess I will just have to deal with it.
This month I miss home the most, more than any holidays or other special occasions thus far. I realize how important the people at home are to me, how much I miss certain things, and whom I wish I could lean on right now.
Other things are happening to. Some really great things like birthdays, Thursday night volleyball, Bible study, hanging with some friends here, and travelling; but also some not so great things as well like missing someone, worrying about the future and money, dreading the 30th and how that day sticks in my mind.
I know I have not been as close to God as either one of us would like. I need to work on that, and I know my heart would be at peace more.
I wish for just one minute the world would stop moving, and I could stop thinking and feeling and just be. I wish I could just scream and cry and laugh and jump at the same time for all the joy and pain which is going on inside me. But life doesn’t stop; it is part of life to figure out how to keep going in those moments of desiring it to stop or even slow down.
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